insanecriticfandomcom-20200216-history
Outta the DVD
Outta the DVD is a series of movie reviews posted on DeviantArt written by Tohokari-Steel (a.k.a. TLSoulDude). While his reviews started off as more of expositions of the plot, they steadily became a bit funnier. At the end of each of his reviews, he points out the pros and cons the movie has and says how good it was on a scale of one to ten. 'Reviews' Outlander Steel reviews Outlander. He mainly explains the plot, but does show rage at the fact that the director killed Gunnar (played by Ron Perlman). Ultimately, he does say that he enjoyed the film and that it was underrated. Final Score: 6/10 Amazing Grace Steel reviews Amazing Grace. He starts off by saying that Christian-based movies often get a bad reputation because of liberals (though he apologizes for the crack). He compliments the movie for using his favorite hymn as the main theme song, the good casting (saying Michael Gambon was better suited for this role rather than Dumbledore), and the strong anti-slavery and Pro-Christian themes. However, he DOES criticize the predictable storyline and the fact that the other politicians view Wilber as a traitor (sarcastically comparing him to Judas Iscariot and Sasuke Uchiha). Final Score: 8/10 Top Ten Creepiest Songs Steel makes a list of the top ten creepiest songs he's ever heard. *10. Friends on the Other Side from The Princess and the Frog *9. I AM by Crush 40 *8. Shadows by Red *7. Chasing Shadows at Midnight by Pillar *6. Tourniquet by Evanescence *5. My Lullaby from The Lion King II: Simba's Pride *4. You're Playing With the Big Boys Now from Prince of Egypt *3. Hellfire from Hunchback of Notre Dame *2. Monster by Skillet *1. Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace Comparison: Van Helsing vs. Twilight Steel compares Van Helsing to Twilight. He starts off by saying that he hates the Twilight franchise and that he considers Van Helsing to be a guilty pleasure. *Protagonist: Van Helsing *Supporting Cast: Van Helsing *Villain: Twilight (albeit grudginly) *Romance: Twilight (pretty much by default) *Story: Van Helsing *Winner: Van Helsing 3-2 Spiderwick Chronicles Steel reviews The Spiderwick Chronicles. While saying that most of the movies made at that time were crappy, he criticizies the movie's fast pacing, non-too memorable supporting cast, and shows rage at the anti-climactic ending. At the end, he says that the movie wasn't good, but it wasn't really bad. Final Score: 4/10 Spirited Away Steel reviews Spirited Away. Throughout the whole movie, he remains convinced that he's high (he's certain of it at the presence of a hopping lamp post). However, he DOES compliment the animation and imagination of the director. He closes by saying that it was good, but weird. Final score: 7/10 Shrek 2 Steel reviews Shrek 2. He says that he DOES find it enjoyable, but not as much as the first one. He does compliment the casting and the fact that the Fairy Godmother is a decent villain. He does show confusion as to why the band Eels seems to appear in some of his favorite movies (two Shrek films, Hellboy II, and Holes). Final Score: 6/10 Tagline: "I'm-uh-wearing ladies' underwear." -Pinocchio Agent Cody Banks Steel reviews Agent Cody Banks. He criticizes the movie for having a stupid beginning, a cliche nanite plot, and the fact that it was too sexual for a PG rating. Though he DOES say that it gets better as it goes. Final Score: 5/10 Tagline: "KEEPER. Like with animals." -Ronica Top Thirteen Manga Series Steel goes over his top thirteen manga series. He expresses that they're solely based on his opinion and that no one should bash him for it. *13. Bakuman *12. Dragon Ball Z *11. Yu-Gi-Oh *10. Rosario+Vampire *9. Fullmetal Alchemist *8. D.Gray-Man *7. Ultimo *6. Katekyo Hitman Reborn! *5. One Piece *4. Naruto *3. Death Note *2. Rurouni Kenshin *1. Bleach (though he claims he doesn't view it as a masterpiece, he just likes it more than others) Theme Song: Hearts Grow by Yura Yura Tagline: "Wanna play some Mario Golf?" -Ryuk, Death Note Bionicle: Mask of Light: The Movie Steel reviews the Bionicle movie. While saying that he never got into the franchise, he criticizes the number of plot-holes and the various cliche moments. He shows particular rage at the fact that the hero and villain have their final battle by playing a game (which he compares to Harry Potter and Voldemort playing Quidditch, Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha playing Shogi, and Monkey D. Luffy and Rob Lucci playing Pokey the Pirate). But says that the animation was great, some moments would come off as very scary, and that the Ice and Fire Toas were cool. Final Score: 4/10 Tagline: "You could've been lava bones!" -Jaller Daredevil Steel reviews Daredevil. He criticizes the idiocy of the charaters, the bad acting (special criticism for Ben Affleck), and Bullseye's detestability (placing him between Ebony Dark'ness Dimentia Raven Way from 'My Immortal' and Naito Longchamp from 'Reborn' on his list of hated characters). He shows surprise that songs from Evanescence (one of his favorite bands) appear along with the fact that he's seen Elektra's father more than once. However, he says that it's bad, but not the WORST superhero movie he's ever seen. Final Score: 3.5/10 Tagline: "Try asking for my number." -Elektra Top Eleven Guilty Pleasure Movies Steel goes over the movies that he openly admits are bad, but can't help but enjoy. *11. Looney Tunes Back In Action *10. Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium *9. The Mummy Returns *8. Transformers (it was originally Revenge of the Fallen, but Steel changed it soon after posting) *7. Pokemon The Movie: 2000 *6. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer *5. Digimon the Movie *4. Batman Forever *3. Yu-Gi-Oh the Movie *2. League of Extraordinary Gentlemen *1. Van Helsing Tagline: "Well, plank you!" -Mr. Magorium Yu-Gi-Oh The Movie Tohokari-Steel reviews the Yu-Gi-Oh movie. He criticizes some predictability, bad dubbing, and slightly forced feel to it, but highly compliments the performances of Dan Green and Wayne Grayson. Ultimately, he concludes that he can't call it bad. Final Score: 6.5/10 Tagline: "Your worms will have to wait, Anubis!" -Yami Yugi Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Steel reviews the fifth Harry Potter film. He harshly criticizes it, pointing out the rushed feel to it, the lack of respect to the source material, the bad portrayal of Dumbledore, and the fact that important moments in the book were downplayed. While he DOES compliment the effects and casting (Michael Gambon excluded), he says it's not enough to save the movie. Final Score: 2/10 Tagline: "You're just as sane as I am." -Luna Lovegood Batman & Robin Tohokari-Steel reviews Batman & Robin with the help of his brothers, Lunatic121 and Sgt. Reynol. They criticize the campy feel of the movie, the bad choice of George Cluny, the intolerable puns and one-liners, the homoerotic themes, and the multiple subplots. They do mildly compliment the action, but that's it. Final Score: 1/10 Tagline: "She's trying to kill you, Dick." -Bruce Wayne/Batman Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief Tohokari-Steel reviews The Lightning Thief. While saying that he enjoys the Percy Jackson series, he criticizes the changes they made to the movie, the somewhat dull final run, and the fact that he doesn't like Percy's actor. He concludes that the film is simply okay. Final Score: 6/10 Tagline: "I can NOT pee with her watching!" -Grover Clash of the Titans Steel reviews the 2009 remake of Clash of the Titans. He lambastes the film, calling it one of the worst things he's ever seen in his life, claiming that it can't make up its mind whether it's secular or not, the bad acting, the lack of explanation, and the deviation from Greek mythology. Final Score: 1.5/10 Tagline: "Don't be like them." -The Deformed King Space Jam Steel (later replaced with the Black Shogun) reviews Space Jam. He criticizes the annoying nature of the film, the lack of any true comedy (special criticism for Wayne Knight), and that the plot makes no sense. When Steel returns, he shows confusion and the screen is turned off by Shadow-DJ (one of Steel's rivals), who says that he liked the film. Final Score: 2.5/10 Tagline: "You...ALL you, are now our PRISONERS!" -Orange Alien Top Twenty Comedies Tohokari-Steel and ShadowDJ each list off their ten favorite comedies (though Steel has a different list from the one he listed, saying he was trying to get people curious). ShadowDJ's list: *10. Space Balls *9. Scooby-Doo *8. Dr. Dolittle *7. Monsters Inc. *6. Men In Black *5. Sky High *4. The Haunted Mansion *3. Shrek *2. The Looney Tunes Movies *1. Toy Story 2 Steel's List: *10. Tooth Fairies *9. Mystery Men *8. Bench Warmers *7. The Mask *6. tie between Sword in the Stone and The Emperor's New Groove *5. Support Your Local Sheriff *4. Galaxy Quest *3. Kung Pow *2. The Simpsons Movie *1. Monty Python & The Holy Grail Princess Mononoke vs. Spirited Away Tohokari-Steel compares Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away (which are his two favorite Myiazaki films). Story: Princess Mononoke Supporting Cast: Spirited Away Main Character: Princess Mononoke Tagline: "Which makes them stupid." -Moro Scorpion King 2: Rise of a Warrior Tohokari-Steel reviews Scorpion King 2: Rise of a Warrior. He lambastes the film, questioning how it can be a prequel when it has '2' in the title, the fact that it has nothing to do with its prequel, the inconsistencies, Randy Couture's acting, the terrible effects, over-the-top action, and says that the giant, invisible scorpion was the director being lazy. The only thing he liked about it was Ari, the Greek scribe. Final Score: 1/10 Tagline: "You're nothing." -Sargon Twilight Tohokari-Steel reviews Twilight. He harshly criticizes the terrible acting, cheap action sequences, terrible effects, uninspired characters, and the lack of any real story. He also finds the film boring (to the point where he goes into a song about how dull it is) and points out how everything he found mildly interesting was dropped from the film at the earliest opportunity. He questions how Bella could be popular when it was her first day, the overall stupidity of the characters, and goes into a rant about sparkling vampires. In the end, he's pulled to Forks Washington by the Council of Dignified Vampires (consisting of Alucard from Hellsing, Dracula from Van Helsing, Inner Moka from Rosario+Vampire, Blade, and Vlad the Impaler) to kill the Cullens, which he does with joy. Final Score: 1/10 Tagline: "What is going on?" -Bella Top Ten Things To Watch Around Halloween Steel lists off the movies/shows he watches around Halloween. In the end, he's attacked by Ed Cullen (who he killed in the previous review, but came back due to his fangirls). After a brief scuffle, he kills Edward with Van Helsing's automatic crossbow. *10. Death Note *9. King Kong *8. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban *7. The Mummy *6. Lost Tapes *5. Hellboy *4. The Wolfman *3. The Dark Knight *2. Van Helsing *1. Ghost Rider Tagline: "And so, we are left to wonder...do they live among us?" -Lost Tapes narrator Dragon Wars Steel reviews Dragon Wars. He speaks by using cue-cards, due to Reynol stealing his laptop. He criticizes the acting, the stupidity of the characters, the fact that most of the scenes have nothing to do with each other, and inconsistencies (questioning how a car and guns can't kill a character while an old guy with a sword can). He compares the villain to a combination between Lord Zedd from Power Rangers, the villain with a distorted voice from Kung Pow, Shredder from TMNT, and Jabba the Hutt. While he does compliment the action, he ultimately compares the whole thing to second-grade fanfiction. Tagline: "Today is my twentieth birthday." -Sarah Brother Bear 2 Steel reviews Brother Bear 2. After calling the era of Disney sequels the Dark Age of Disney, he criticizes the lack of Phil Collins, the nonsensical storyline, and the lame attempts at humor (though he does admit that a scene with raccoons was a little funny). He admits that Mandy Moore's trying to do a good job, but her character is too bland to pull it off. Final Score: 1.5/10 Tagline: "You must go and...EAT AN OX!" -Shaman Astro Boy Steel reviews the CGI Astro Boy film. While he criticizes Donald Sutherland's performance (resulting in him crying because Donald Sutherland appeared in 'The Italian Job'), some predictability, and the confusing ending, he says that most of the acting's good, some humor was good, and the animation was cool. He compares the flight scene to Iron Man and calls the Peacemaker Iron Monger if he was designed for King Kong. Ultimately, he says that the film's okay. Final Score: 5.5/10 Tagline: "I'm old-school." -Zog Top Thirteen Most Idiotic MarioDS Elements Steel goes over the dumbest things in MarioDS01 fanfictions. *13. Pairing Alvin up with every Chipette *12. The Link/Ruto pairing *11. Pokemorph pairings (though he says that he can't criticize due to the TLxHanabi pairing) *10. Bowser's Magic from "Peach: Koopa Princess" *9. The Originality from "Brenna 10" *8. Hitmonchan's gender bend from "Ash to Ashley" *7. The Triforce of Love *6. Timmy losing Cosmo and Wanda from "Trixie's True Self" *5. The villains from "Trixie's True Self 2: Tootie's Revenge" and "Life Changing Time Alteration" *4. The magic well from "Sonic's Wish: Female Sonic/Knuckles" *3. Ben's time travel gender bend from "Life Changing Time Alteration" *2. The adults becoming kids from "Trixie's True Self 2: Tootie's Revenge" *1. All of his gender bends The Jungle Book 2 Steel reviews Jungle Book 2. He lambastes the film, calling it more like a half-rate fanfiction than a sequel to one of his all-time favorite films. He criticizes the bad music, the lack of any real storyline, and Ranjen and Lucky for being annoying (he shows surprise that Phil Collins played Lucky). He shows admiration from Tony Jay, who voiced Shere Khan. He goes into a rage that his fans are to blame for the terrible nature before the actual Steel walks in. The one reviewing the film reveals himself as Steel's evil clone, Karitoho-Iron, before knocking him out. Final score: 2/10 Tagline: "Turn off the thinker and just dive in!" -Baloo How the Grinch Stole Christmas Steel reviews the animated version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas after freezing Iron solid. He says that he loves the film and that it's absolutely classic, while he does criticize a few unanswered questions. Final Score: 9/10 (this is Steel's highest score to date) Tagline: "STINK! STANK! STUNK!" -the singer Top Eleven Christmas Specials Steel lists off his top eleven favorite Christmas specials (though he opens up apologizing for promising to review Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause, though he couldn't find the DVD). *11. Christmas Who? *10. Rankin/Bass' Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer *9. Arthur's Perfect Christmas *8. 'Tis the Fifteenth Season *7. ALF's Special Christmas *6. The Polar Express *5. How the Grinch Stole Christmas *4. It's Christmas Time, Charlie Brown *3. The Little Drummer Boy *2. The Nativity Story *1. Every Christmas Carol Tagline: "What? Who, me? Would you look at the time! I should go!" -Squidward The Santa Clause Steel reviews The Santa Clause. He ultimately considers the film to be decent, despite criticizing the mother and stepfather's over-protective response to their son obsessing over his father (who became Santa) and a few missed opportunities for jokes. However, he says that it has the best depiction of the North Pole he's ever seen. Final Score: 5/10 Tagline: "My weenie whistle..." -Neal The Seeker Tohokari-Steel reviews 'The Seeker'. While he does compliment the effects and the creepy moments (though saying they're seizure-inducing), he harshly criticizes the bad actors, the fact that most of the plot-threads go nowhere, and seems to be cashing in on the success of Harry Potter. He eventually goes into a musical number spoofing the 'Cabin Fever' song from Muppet Treasure Island only for Iron to come in and knock him out again afterwards. Final Score: 2/10 Tagline: "It's not the end of the world...not yet." -The Rider Van Helsing Tohokari-Steel reviews Van Helsing after getting abducted by Iron (an interdimensional clone of himself designed by SaireNaoriva). He criticizes the film's blue screens, plot-holes, and hammy acting. However, he says that it's a guilty pleasure and watches it every Halloween. He then defeats Iron with the help of Steve the Hollow, Cooly McAwesome, Santa Bond, Xemnas1992, and SaireNaoriva. Final Score: 8.5/10 Tagline: "Now that I have your attention..." -Van Helsing Top Twenty Favorite Movies pt. 1 Steel gives his list of favorite movies (though the list was eventually changed). *20. 300 *19. The Last Samurai *18. Spirited Away *17. Princess Mononoke *16. Van Helsing *15. The Italian Job *14. Return of the Jedi *13. Hellboy II: The Golden Army *12. Aladdin *11. The Fellowship of the Ring Top Twenty Movies pt. 2 Steel gives off his final ten favorite films. *10. The Jungle Book *9. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets *8. The Little Mermaid *7. Toy Story 2 *6. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe *5. The Dark Knight *4. Braveheart *3. The Lion King *2. Spider-Man 2 *1. The Matrix Earthsea Steel reviews the TV movie 'Earthsea'. He criticizes the effects and the plot-holes, but compliments most of the acting and the storyline. He ultimately concludes that it's just okay. Final Score: 5/10 Tagline: "Spare me your sarcasm!" -Ged's father Jurassic Park III Tohokari-Steel reviews the third Jurassic Park film. He criticizes a few plot-holes, Mrs. Kirby and Billy's actors, and the somewhat repetitive feel to the film. He shows particular rage at the Spinosaurus killing the T-Rex. He concludes that, while he considers it bad, it's not as bad as some of the other films he's reviewed. Final Score: 3/10 Tagline: "This is T-Rex pee?" -Alan Grant Avatar Tohokari-Steel reviews James Cameron's Avatar. He harshly criticizes the unoriginal story, the anti-military themes (because he has a great respect for the United States military), and the pretentious nature of the film. He does praise the effects, but says, if you look past them, the movie has nothing to offer. He ends his review by saluting while playing 'Ballad of the Green Berets'. Final Score: 2/10 Tagline: "You've gotta be kiddin' me." -Quaritch Top Fifteen Funniest Characters Steel gives the list of the characters that he finds to be funniest. *15. Rattrap from "Beast Wars" *14. Deadpool from "Marvel Comics" *13. Maximillion Pegasus from "Yu-Gi-Oh" *12. The Weasley Twins from "Harry Potter *11. Maxwell Smart from "Get Smart" *10. Plankton from "SpongeBob SquarePants" *9. Sven Vollfied from "Black Cat" *8. Shawn Spencer from "Psych" *7. (this was left out due to Steel's forgetfulness) *6. Team Chaotix from "Sonic X" *5. J. Jonah Jameson from "Spider-Man" *4. Kronk from "The Emperor's New Groove" *3. tie between Edward Elric from "Fullmetal Alchemist" and Kon from "Bleach" *2. Daffy Duck from "Looney Tunes" *1. Comic Book Guy from "The Simpsons" Tagline: "Worst episode EVER." -Comic Book Guy Robin Hood Steel reviews Russell Crowe's Robin Hood. He ultimately calls it 'Gladiator Visits Nottingham'. He says that it has too much exposition and that it seems more like a backstory than an actual movie. He concludes that it's not bad so much as it is boring. Final Score: 3/10 Tagline: "What has eighteen legs and goes nowhere?" -Robin Hood Napoleon Dynamite Tohokari-Steel reviews Napoleon Dynamite. He says that this is the worst film he's ever seen. He criticizes the lack of any story, lack of any true humor, and terrible acting (with special criticism for John Heder, who he calls a six-foot, thirty-year-old zombie). He shows confusion as to why Diedrich Bader appeared in it (though he said the scene where he beats-up Uncle Rico was a little funny). He goes insane when he finds out that it was actually well-received and destroys the DVD. Final Score: 0/10 Tagline: "You're such an IDIOT!" -Napoleon Ponyo Tohokari-Steel reviews Ponyo in a new segment called "Miyazaki Time". He criticizes the weirdness and a few disturbing moments, but says it's not a bad film and recommends it. He shows confusion as to why the little sister of Miley Cyrus and a younger member of the Jonas Brothers appear in it and says that, oddly enough, Liam Neeson is a riot in it. Final Score: 7/10 Tagline: "SHIP-SHAPE! SHIP-SHAPE! SHIP-SHAPE!" -Ponyo Top Eleven Worst Things About Twilight Steel lists off the thing he hates most about Twilight (due to him taking his anger out on it via a friend teasing him for watching the movie). He's constantly visted by "Stephanie Meyer", who turns out to be SaireNaoriva trying to get his attention in order to give him a message from Iron. *11. The fan-leak *10. The friends *9. The movie's actors *8. Perfect characters *7. The story (or lack thereof) of New Moon *6. The bad writing *5. Jacob imprinting Renesmee (to which he goes through the mourning process due to him considering Jacob to be the only thing that he finds interesting about Twilight) *4. Bella herself *3. The romance *2. The monsters *1. The obsessors Tagline: "You are made of stupid" -Emperor Yoshiro from Comman & Conquer Red Alert 3 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie Steel reviews Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie. While saying that he was a Power Rangers kid, he harshly criticizes the film's dull storyline, nonsensical choices (a twelve-year-old becoming the Blue Ranger and using cars as zords), the movie's over-use of what he calls "magic glitter", and confusing scene changes. However, he views the theme song as awesome as well as the helmet morphing and Megazord. He then vanishes as the end of the review along with Cooly McAwesome and Santa Bond (who were there for security purposes after the last review). Final Score: 2/10 Tagline: "You're giving me a migraine..." -Divatox Steel's Favorites Steel lists off his favorite in any category. These often appear in the forms of deviantart memes. Top 25 Movies 25. Transformers (PG-13, Paramount/Dreamworks, 2007) 24. The Nightmare Before Christmas (PG , Touchstone/Disney, 1993) 23. The Last Samurai (R, Warner Bros., 2003) 22. Blind Side (PG-13, Warner Bros., 2009) 21. Van Helsing (PG-13, Universal Studios, 2004) 20. Karate Kid (PG, Columbia Tristar, 2010) 19. The Italian Job (PG-13, Columbia Tristar, 2003) 18. Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (PG, 20th Century Fox, 1977) 17. Secret of NIMH (G, MGM Entertainment, 1982) 16. Second Hand Lions (PG, New Line Cinema, 2003) 15. Princess Mononoke (PG-13, Studio Ghibli, 1997) 14. Iron Man (PG-13, Paramount, 2008) 13. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (PG-13, New Line Cinema, 2001) 12. The Prince of Egypt (PG, Dreamworks, 1998) 11. The Jungle Book (G, Disney, 1967) 10. The Little Mermaid (G, Disney, 1989) 9. How To Train Your Dragon (PG, Dreamworks, 2010) 8. Toy Story 2 (G, Pixar, 1999) 7. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (PG, Warner Bros., 2002) 6. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (PG, Walden Media/Disney, 2005) 5. The Dark Knight (PG-13, Warner Bros., 2008) 4. Braveheart (R, 20th Century Fox, 1995) 3. The Lion King (G, Disney, 1994) 2. Spider-Man 2 (PG-13, Columbia Tristar, 2004) 1. The Matrix (PG-13, Warner Bros., 1999) Top Ten Video Games 10. Nicktoons Unite! 9. Pokemon Heart Gold Version 8. Naruto: Clash of Ninja Revolution 7. Mario Kart: Double Dash 6. Shadow the Hedgehog 5. Super Smash Bros. Brawl 4. Ratchet & Clank: Up Your Arsenal 3. Call of Duty: Black Ops 2. Kingdom Hearts II 1. Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker Top Twenty Least Favorite Movies 20. Avatar 19. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor 18. Daredevil 17. Shark Tale 16. Battlefield Earth 15. Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland 14. The Seeker 13. The Wild 12. Indiana Jones: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull 11. Godzilla 1998 10. Space Jam 9. Dragon Wars 8. Superman IV 7. tie between Harry Potter 4 and 5 6. Clash of the Titans 5. most of the Disney sequels/prequels 4. Twilight 3. The Room 2. Batman & Robin 1. Napoleon Dynamite